Like We Never Loved at All
by haunted-eternity
Summary: She wonders if he thinks about that time too. Jenny/Gibbs slight mentions of Hollis/Gibbs.


Disclaimer: I dont own NCIS, or the song Like We Never Loved at All (sung by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw)

I was in an angsty mood last night... I suppose.

* * *

_You never looked so good  
As you did last night  
Underneath the city lights  
There walking with your friend  
Laughing at the moon  
I swear you looked right through me  
But I'm still livin' with your goodbye  
And you're just goin' on with your life_

He was with her again, out on the town, in the places she knew he despised. But he went to these places to please her, to see her face light up with a smile. She hid in the corner booth, sipping at her bourbon, and watching him as he watched her. The lights cast an earthy glow against his tanned skin, bringing out the hues and his silver hair seemed to change depending on the movements he made. She watched as he looked around the restaurant, scanning the crowd just like she remembered him doing with her. His eyes caught hers for a brief moment, but she broke the connection. His blue eyes held to many memories for her to handle tonight. He continued to scan the crowd, finished he turned back to his dinner companion, brushing away a stray lock of blonde hair from her face. She continued to sit there and nurse the bourbon long after they disappeared, knowing he had someone to lose himself into tonight stabbed the knife deeper into her heart, twisting it in further as she knew today nine years ago was the day she left him.

_How can you just walk on by  
Without one tear in your eye  
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me  
Maybe that's just your way  
Of dealing with the pain  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all_

She watches from above him on the catwalk, watching his movements and ever so often find his gaze set on her, wondering why she stood there as long as she did. Forcing herself away from the railing she tares her gaze away from him, turning her back and walking to the iris scanner for MTAC. Gaining entrance to the one place she could seek refuge in, she sank down in the back row of chairs, thankful no one was present. She knew the exact moment he entered, feigning ignorance as he quietly took a seat next to her, staring out at the darkened screen of MTAC. The silence was easy to slide into, bringing back memories of the times they shared what seemed like ages ago.

"I thought you were done sitting in the dark" he whispered, turning to watch her.

She stared straight ahead, her green eyes boring a hole into the dark screen.

"Done looking at pictures yes, hiding, no" she told him, not wanting to see his reaction.

"Hiding Jen" he asked, an eyebrow raised, not that she saw.

"I don't need to explain myself to you Jethro. Don't you have a case you should be working one?" she asked, finally turning her head to look at him.

Their eyes caught and they began a staring contest, speaking without words, like they did on occasion in a foreign land in the past.

He opened his mouth to speak when she pressed a finger to his lips.

"Don't Jethro" she whispered, her eyes pleading with him to stop before he started.

Closing his mouth he nodded and she dropped her hand.

Lapsing back into silence they glanced at each other without trying to be too obvious.

"You ever think about it" she asked quietly, so quietly he wondered if he was hearing things.

"Occasionally" he told her, glancing over her defeated form.

"Why" he asked when she didn't say anything.

"Just wondering if you did it too" she said, turning back to the black screen.

"It's not a part of my life I can forget, a lot of firsts happened, lasts too" he said, getting up from his chair.

As he opened the door and walk out she slumped further into the chair.

"I'm sorry Jethro" she whispered to the empty space.

_You, I hear you're doin' fine  
Seems like you're doin' well  
As far as I can tell  
Time is leaving us behind  
(Leavin' us behind)  
Another week has passed  
And still I haven't laughed yet  
So tell me what your secret is baby yeah  
(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)  
To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did_

She tries not to listen to Tony's theories, but she can't help but overhear. His betting is infectious to all of NCIS' personnel, and there's not bet she doesn't know of.

Jen walks up the stairs when she sees a blonde flash of hair to the side of her. Slowing her steps she watches as Gibbs walks his companion to the elevator, pressing the button for her. They stand there waiting, and Jen watches as he kisses her on the cheek and smile.

She turned away and continued up the stairs, feeling Ziva's stare, watching her reaction to what they all saw.

As she turned at the final stair and perched herself there, she saw him give orders to go back to work, and as he sat down at his desk he glanced up at the catwalk and saw her. And at that moment, she knew that he had known she just saw him kiss Hollis goodbye.

Pushing herself back from the stairs she strode to her office, brushing past Cynthia and shutting her door, leaning against it, knowing he would be up here, barging into her office like he always does.

Forcing herself up off the door and not locking it behind her, she sat down at her desk and pulled out a picture hidden in the deep recess of her drawer.

She traced the contours of them, holding each other and laughing at something in the foreground. She can't remember what they were laughing at right now, but knew if she asked the man in the picture he would know, or even the man who took the picture. After all the man was only two floor down from her, but she couldn't let anyone know she reminisces about the past. Jethro already knew something was up with her asking that question of him the other day, she didn't want him digging deeper.

And at that moment, she realized she hadn't laughed like that in nine years, has never had as much fun as she did back when she was just a young up and coming agent. Smiling sadly at the thought she placed the picture back where she found it, trying to forget it was there so she could get back to work.

_How can you just walk on by  
Without one tear in your eye  
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me  
Maybe that's just your way  
Of dealing with the pain  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all_

She listened in the shadows of Ducky reminiscing about the past when she felt his presence beside her.

He said nothing, but passed his coffee to her silently, not wanting to alert the team or Ducky of their presence, sure that they would stop and get back to their real jobs if they ever saw the two lurking in the shadows.

"You would think Ducky would get tired of telling stories" he whispered into her ear.

"Never ones about the times we shared," she said a sad smile on her face, hidden behind his coffee cup.

"I thought you said you'd keelhaul him if he told another story about you" he said, smiling ever so slightly behind her.

"I did tell him that, that's why the stories are about you, and it doesn't matter if I was your partner in the story. He's very good at finding loopholes" she smiled and turned back to him, handing him back his coffee.

"Ah" Gibbs said, holding the drink.

"I'll just assume he was taught by the best" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"He said he learned the politics from you, since I don't have any" he said, raising his coffee to his lips and drinking it in. The taste of coffee mixed with a hint of flavor from Jen's smudged lip coloring invaded his senses.

She watched as he disconnected, and wondered where he went, if he went back to that time nine years ago, or if it was more recent. With a blonde counterpart at the Army he was flash backing to.

"I always told you I had the better political mind Jethro" she said quietly, watching him shake himself out of the mental fog.

He thought back to all those times in the foreign places, when she would claim not to want coffee, only to later steal his and turn up her nose at the strength. Though he noticed, she didn't do it towards the end of their partnership, and she didn't do it now, which meant she got use to it. He smiled at the thought and shook his head, bringing him back to the present.

"I still think my way is easier" he smirked.

She shook her head at him and stole his cup, drinking it before she retorted.

"I do believe our orders were not to harm the Duke, but you shot him in the ass anyways" she said, flashing back to their undercover op.

"He deserved it, he was looking at you like you were his" he said.

"I know that" she said, thinking back to that day, when he told her that she was his, and his alone.

"I have to get back to work" she said quietly, holding out his coffee to give it back.

He shook his head and thrust her hand back to her chest.

"Keep it, I'll get a new one" he said, not wanting to flash back to the memories while Tony was still here.

"Thank you Jethro" she said, moving out of the shadow of the corner and back to her office.

He said nothing, but watched as she walked away, never looking back, just like she did the day she left him.

_Did you forget the magic...ohh  
Did you forget the passion  
Did you ever miss me  
Ever long to kiss meeeee...._

The door to her office swung open, and slammed shut as the occupant whirled in.

"What can I do for you now" Jenny said, standing up from her chair.

Gibbs whirled around her desk, and backed her up against the window, the anger radiating off of him.

"Do you think you can undermine me like that Jen" he whispered harshly at her.

She took a defensive stance, but didn't push him away.

"You think I wanted to Jethro, I saved your ass" she whispered back, just as harsh.

"Oh yeah Jen, real heroic, stepping in for me on my case at the FBI" Gibbs mocked, "Yeah that was real helpful, thanks Jen" he said sarcastically.

Her green eyes narrowed, staring straight into his icy blues, and he forgot for a moment that he was supposed to be seething at her. That she shouldn't have stepped in for him, even if he did need the help getting the FBI to hand over the case to him. He was thrown back to all the times they were mad, and it usually ended up violent, one of them getting hurt from the rough and tumble during the make-ups that happened while still fighting. He quelled the itch to kiss her, briefly.

"Fine, the next time you want my help Jethro, you won't have it" she smirked, "Try it your way, see how far the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs gets before you have to crawl back here begging for my help" she said in an angry whisper.

The full name had done it, it had triggered some response in him that had him pushing her up against the window, kissing her with a force he only knew they had when they were together.

He pulled his hands through her hair, feeling as she tugged at his, bringing his mouth in closer so their tongues could dual for dominance. As air became necessary they pulled away, both looking down but not letting go.

"We can't" she began, dropping her hands to his chest, playing with his lapels, "We can't do this."

"I know" he whispered, feeling their foreheads connect and watched her as she closed her eyes.

"I'm" she began, but he held a finger against her lips, silencing her.

"Don't, don't apologize for something you're not sorry for" he said, reading into her as much as he knew, and he knew as much as she hated it, she wasn't sorry for kissing him back.

She nodded her head and he felt it against his. She cupped his cheek before releasing herself.

"I have work to do" she whispered.

He nodded and cast a look at her one last time before turning and heading out the door.

She sat down at her desk and stared at her computer, her hand clamping tightly to her mouth as she released a sob, silent tears flowing down her cheeks for what could have been.

_Ohhhh ohohh ohh Baby, baby_  
_Maybe that's just your way  
Of dealing with the pain  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved...at all...._

He watched her as she walked down the stairs later that night, casting a short glance in his direction their eyes met. This time it was him who turned away first, not wanting to watch her walk away, even if it wasn't permanently out of his life.

She cast a sad smile in his direction at his bowed head, and shared a glance with Ziva as she passed her to the elevator, the Israeli officer knowing that she would look after Gibbs to report his mood back to her boss' boss later that evening.

The team watched as their boss watched their boss' boss go down the flight of stairs and to the elevator, sharing secretive, knowing glances and smiles with each other.

--

Fin.


End file.
